Cameo-No.

'Django Unchained': For 100 minutes, it's funny, sharp, dramatic, classy, and deeply absorbing as all good flicks are. Then, utterly predictably, comes the inevitable Tarantino cameo. This is fine, he made the thing, can we really begrudge him (and his ego) a brief foray onto the screen to share a slice of the limelight? Ordinarily, no. But on this occasion he emerges towards the climax of the film, and COMPLETELY takes you out of it, because Quentin Tarantino and acting are about as compatible as Chris Brown and women's lib.

As dramatic as his face gets

With his stupid nose, ridiculous accent, and horrific sense of timing, it's the cinematic equivalent of a wedding videographer turning the camera on himself halfway through the best man's speech just to shout 'waaasssssuuuuuuupp'. If you want a cameo, and you clearly do QT, stick yourself at the start as some nondescript nobody, realise the effect you have of rolling in towards the end and reminding people that, for all your talent, you're still an egotistical bellend.

Of course, the big screen cameo is almost as old as the big screen itself, and directors such as Peter Jackson can frequently be glimpsed in their own work. But Jackson's style is 'blink and you'll miss it', non-speaking, and (most importantly) not intrusive. The fact that he's about as photogenic as roadkill probably dictates this, but still. 

Shyamalan - Creepy looking fucker isn't he?

Alfred Hitchcock famously appeared in 37 of his own films, and I doubt there would have been anyone around ballsy enough to try and make him change his mind. But, again, he was mostly peripheral, rarely distracting enough to make you stop and think about what you're watching. 

More recently, 'The Sixth Sense' director M. Night Shyamalan consistently popped up his pictures (drug dealer in 'Unbreakable', doctor in 'The Sixth Sense'). Shyamalan is equally as shit an actor as QT, but seems to realise this, and take himself back behind the lens before too much damage is done. (He also gives himself the glory of revealing the twist in 'The Village'. Smarmy little shit). 

During the late Eighties Spike Lee who took the cameo to new lengths, almost playing a supporting role in films such as 'Jungle Fever' and 'Do The Right Thing'. Lee isn't the greatest screen actor around, but compared to the likes of Shyamalan and Tarantino, he's positively Brando-esque.

Mean Streets. Like Tottenham, but with better hair

But perhaps the most dramatic cameo impact comes from the old master Martin Scorcese in 1973's 'Mean Streets'. Appearing right at the end as an uncredited hitman, he then proceeds to blow the film's two major characters away. (If you haven't seen it, and I've just ruined the ending for you, then you probably shouldn't wait 40 years after it's release to watch it. Also, at the end of The Sixth Sense, turns out he's a ghost. Soz.) Scorcese also shows he can really act by confidently sharing the screen with De Niro, playing a neurotic cab passenger in 'Taxi Driver'.

But cameos should be brief, funny, and do we actually know what the director looks like half the time anyway? 2003's 'Old School' this perfectly, director Todd Phillips turning up at Owen Wilson's door and simply stating: "I'm here for the gang bang". Brief, concise, and then gone. But let's end this how we started, by criticizing decent people. The worst cameo in history (and it is the worst) doesn't come from a director, but from Matt Damon. In 2004 he was pretty much at the top of his game, a true A-lister, respected, rich, and could choose his projects. So fuck knows why he did this: